You asked my what my favorite color was and my favorite childhood memory even though you really didn’t care. He lied about everything, he picked my outfits, blocked my best friends numbers on my phone, cried when I made plans to go out (in an attempt to get me to stay home), cheated on me more times than I could count, and ALWAYS made me feel like it was my fault. With this in mind, read on for my top four reasons why I, too, am afraid to fall in love: 1. When you hurt someone, you usually feel bad about it and it can eat you alive. Out of all my irrational fears, I'd have to say that my fear of fingering myself ranks within the top five. They just divorced within the last 2 years. My relationship with my dad was fine when I was a kid, but he and my mom have always had some issues. Boys Are Afraid Of Love – Men Are Afraid Of Losing You. Why do we seem to be so afraid of self-promotion as a people? I am afraid to lose my boyfriend because I love him so much. We are not perfect and no one is. - and are all mushy and sensitive, and that’s just not you. Everytime I try and commit to doing work such as writing my essay, or a short story, I SELF DOUBT MYSELF to an irrational extreme. Am I meant to suffer? It mattered more to me if someone else told me I was beautiful. You’ve been together for a while, you’ve been through some good times and some bad. Why am I afraid to be myself? Now it’s staring me in the face and layers of me I never knew existed are burning open as I hold myself to the flame. If you no longer have a significant other in your life and are experiencing heartbreak, you still have family, and if not, you have friends you can lean on. Trust is a big thing for you. You don’t have the time to give someone right now, you’re too focused on your career, you like to mingle with people without worrying about anything more. To the Guy Who Saw Me as a One Night Stand. About the Author. Why is that such a scary landscape? Every time he looked at me. 4 am – yes 4:00 – it was what my alarm said in a flashy pink color I adored when it actually showed 6 am and not some ridiculously early time of the morning. You're gonna be sad for awhile and THAT'S OKAY. They become a part of your everyday. Your career is important but so is your solo time along with friends and family. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast . .css-d8ali9-Footer{padding:1em;}.css-1bjgiud-SiteLink-Footer{color:#1A1A1A;padding:1em;}ExploreContactPrivacy PolicyTerms of UseSupport. But just because that has happened in the past, doesn’t mean it will happen with the new guy. No one asked this question specifically, but it comes across as an undertone in many that we receive. You have those fun single gal pals that you love to go out with. I had just gotten out of one of the most toxic relationships of my entire life and for someone to pay attention to me the way you did; it was nice. I do not agree that showing me more and telling me more, will help him. While you may trust your closest friends and family members, trusting the opposite sex to stick around and not hurt you in the process is something else entirely. Eh, who has time for that? save. It was quite usual for me to wake up during the night, it also explained why I owned more books than clothes. He’ll cancel them all just to be around you and show you that he cares. I’m still a work in progress and I still catch myself trying to hide so others won’t notice me, won’t judge me, but I am getting stronger. I have started seeing a counselor too. You’re a woman on-the-go who is very much into herself right now. I know he wouldnt love me back anyway, because he is such a player that he never had a girlfirend. I have a problem, I'm terrified of falling in love and committing myself to someone. But, it’s important to remember that the past is the past, and that doesn’t mean it will make its way into the present. if you have any questions leave them down below or in my tumblr inbox!! I felt like the Disney princess who could break into a song and dance at every single instant. Doesn’t matter what kind of plans we’re talking about. Sure, you don’t consider yourself heartless or anything like that, but when it comes down to being loveable, you’re feeling iffy about yourself. He's afraid (lose) his independence. You’re so afraid that you will fall too hard for him and then he will one day leave you. The drug can kill you too. I’m so afraid you’ll realize you can’t love me enough cause I don’t love myself as much as I love you. A scheming, a**hole, douche bag ex? She was afraid (make) herself ill. 6. All Hello, Sign in. Who doesn’t like to come home after a long day and put on some old sweats, plop it on the couch with a carton of take-out and glass of wine while watching your latest Netflix obsession - Bloodline 2, anyone? Martha Sullivan June 7, 2020. However, people started to notice that and would complain! A new relationship is uncharted territory, and most of us have natural fears of the unknown. Why? I didn’t want to be seen or heard. Now coming to the point on how you can push yourself against your fears. I have never been in a relationship or had my first kiss, but I can never think of being in a relationship. After a day in the office or a night out with your friends, you love coming home to your own space and getting into your own bed without worrying about anyone there asking any questions. We’re afraid of heartbreak. 5. book. Until one day my eyes met his and somewhere at the back of my head I knew that this was a start to something new. Letting ourselves fall in love means taking a real risk. But it’s not just when you are in a relationship. Similarly, you stop feeling guilty for things that were beyond your control. Perhaps you are simply afraid to fall in love because of the possible outcome. report. Pregnancy and parenting news, given to you in a way nobody else has. People want to avoid risk and hurt and that makes a lot of sense. I took you for granted and now look where I am. We're so afraid to be vulnerable and open ourselves to these things because if they left one day, life would be unbearable. Yeah, me too. Some people may even avoid falling in love or being loved because of these negative, frightening feelings. When I couldn't sleep, I used to read, and read, until I fell asleep again – when it actually happened. Our first six months together were amazing and totally blissful. Prime. You wouldn’t stop messaging me, snapping me, and you wouldn’t stop trying to get my attention. We totally get it. When you love someone, you're letting them into your lives. Account & Lists Account Returns & Orders. Because your past rears its ugly head again. But when you are first starting out in a new relationship, these are things you don’t have to worry about yet, so do yourself a favor, and don’t. Yes, having a life companion may not be something we NEED, but it is something that we want. Yeah, we totally get the whole solo time thing, and we can understand how you might feel you’d have to give that all up if you got into a relationship. It’s way too early for you to be thinking about this stuff. I’ve become so reliant on myself; I’ve become so set in my ways and set with my own life. We can appreciate how busy you are, and applause you for it. When you get to know fear from curiosity, you can transform the angst into patience. 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